Tomorrow is my 24th birthday. I cannot tell you what being 23 taught me. It’s been one of the worst and best years of my life. It was exactly six months of joy and six months of pain and agony. However, I have a beautiful chance to learn from this tumultuous year and tomorrow put it all behind me as I turn 24.
You cannot control other people’s reactions to your choices. Good or bad. You have to let it go and realize that if they chose to let something affect them negatively for the rest of their life, they have made that choice. You still have to live your life. Understand that although their pain and negativity might be justified for a short while, you are not responsible for their choice to remain that way.
Let go of those jeans that you have never fit in, even at your thinnest, and realize that you need to embrace where you are and have realistic expectations of your body. J. Crew toothpick jeans will never fit my curves. Move on and realize you don’t get back the time that you spend pining for another body.
Beyonce has as many hours in the day as I do but also has a nanny, personal trainer, assistants and entourage. We have the same number of hours but don’t compare what you have gotten done to someone else.
There isn’t a blueprint for your life. You make your own choices, good or bad, and have to live with the consequences.
Learn who your real friends are and tell them you appreciate them. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that there is less and less time to cultivate the friendships like I’ve had with my childhood friends. I am thankful for the people I have met in recent years and have learned that when you find someone who gets you, get them and do everything you can to tell them you are thankful for them.
There will come a day that your sisters are less annoying and old than you thought they were. In fact, they are probably pretty cool. Woah, I know. I know. Either that or you will realize you are maturing and becoming old.
Don’t apologize for being who you are. You might feel alone for a long time but when you stick to your principles, stay true to yourself, you will find people that utterly understand you. Those people are worth waiting for.
Get your sleep. I am the type of person that needs eight hours of sleep. If that means going to bed at 9 pm then I will do that. I’m not a late night person, I never have been. Learn what is good for your body and give it what it needs.
Your life isn’t a competition so stop comparing your life, stats, numbers, money, whatever is your thing, to someone else. “Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” It’s been my motto for 2014 and a daily reminder on my desktop.
You are never too old to dream. Ever. You are never too old to say that you want something new for your life. One of the saddest things about growing up is that we stop playing, pretending, using our imaginations. Never stop.
Rachelle Pinksole
this romper is so cute but these boots are KILLER. Happy early birthday!
xo
PinkSole
Taramixandmatch
Happy birthday! Birthdays are always the best time to reflect and start fresh π Loving these boots on you!
Jessica
Happy day-early birthday!
This was such a good read and a stellar reminder to stay true to oneself. I especially like the bit about cultivating friendships. It's hard to make friends as we get older and we need to take time to nurture the friendships we have.
http://bedknobsandbaubles.com/
Laura B
First of all, Happy Birthday tomorrow! Secondly, I LOVE YOUR HAIR! It's gorgeous like that! Thirdly, these lessons are all so true! Owning up to a mistakes and apologizing is hard at first, but gets easier!
The Real Arnolds
Beautiful photos of a beautiful person! Happy birthday. Good lessons here. π
Amy Ann
The Real Arnolds
Inge Jane
The fact that you've learned all of this already is truly something, it takes a lot of people much longer to learn these lessons. So I'd say you are ahead of the curve! Happy early birthday! (Your hair looks amazing!)
Pamela {Sequins and Sea Breezes}
These are all great lessons to learn! And especially at 23! I think I didn't start figuring these out until much later in life. And love those over the knee boots! Gorgeous! Happy early birthday girl!
Karly @ Miss in the Midwest
Love, love, LOVE this post. We all can learn from your words, so thank you for some of these gentle reminders and words of wisdom. Happy almost birthday!
BLovedBoston
Happy early birthday girl and these are all amazing things to have learned!!! I'd say learning not to compare myself to others was the hardest but best lesson learned!! xo, Biana – BlovedBoston
Breenah A
Happy almost birthday! Sounds like you learned a LOT this past year. Smart and beautiful? Watch out world! π
Rachel Lynne
This is such a great post – and you have definitely learned some valuable lessons! Happy early birthday dear!!!!!!!!!
Jessica
First off, happy early birthday girlfriend!! So many great things to remember in this post. I think at the end of the day, if you can say you gave it your best and were your genuine self, then it's a success. Oh and one more thing, I can assure you, there is a whole lot more learning to be done along the way π
26 and Not Counting
Merritt
love those boots!
The Style Scribe
Sarah
I just turned 30 and am not nearly as wise as you. These points are so spot on, you go girl!!
Yes to sleep…I am TERRIBLE about getting enough sleep but it really does make all the difference in the world.
Closet Fashionista
Such great life lessons! Not sure I could have written something so true at almost 24 years old :p (and I'm only 26, ha ha) Life is all about the ups and downs, so we just have to go with the flow! π
Loving this look, the boots are great!
http://www.closet-fashionista.com/
Jessica Salisbury
Happy birthday! I hope it's a good one. π
http://www.wearitforless.com
baublestobubbles.com
You are so wise, and it makes me so happy reading these posts! I loved all of this, but especially related to the saying sorry part. I'm the same way and tend to make excuses for my mistakes. This has definitely inspired me to work on that! Welcome to the 24 club!!
Alyssa
Happy early birthday! I love this list…I feel like I learn more and more about myself with each week that goes by, especially now that I'm 25 (weird, yes…but for some reason it's been a big growing year for me).
Elegance and Mommyhood
Love that floral romper and I loved reading this reflective post. I am sorry half of the past year was crap but I know you turn negatives into positives. Happy 24th Birthday to you Beautiful (inside-out) Alissa! Have a wonderful day tomorrow and a better year than all of the ones you are leaving behind!
Hugs <3 Ada.
mary-katherine
happy early birthday to you! loved all of these, but especially the one about saying sorry and owning it. need to work on that :/
xo mary-katherine
gold-hatted lover
Emma Walker
Love this!
Emma | With A City Dream
Franziska
happy birthday, baby girl. I'm so proud of how far you've come, all the things you are going to accomplish, and how you'll look back at all of this and realize why it happened.
on a superficial note, you look absolutely amazing in these pictures
Mika P.
This is such an amazing and inspirational post! You look absolutely stunning (as always!). Thanks so much for the wisdom you've shared in this post. Some of it I try to remind myself (like being content and accepting the body you have instead of pining for another) but it's always nice to hear it from others and to know you're not alone. Happy birthday! I hope this is your best year yet! (:
Jennifer Laber
I love you.
Bree Aylwin
Birthdays are a wonderful time to reflect back and see what you have taken from the year before.such a pretty outfit. Happy birthday and here is to a fab 24!!
Darcy
Super cute look, pretty lady! Great list of thoughts here too. One of my favorite quotes is the "don't compare your begining to someone else's middle" too :).
Happy birthday!
http://www.amemoryofus.com
Ladies in Navy
you look beautiful! and your thoughts are very wise. some people never learn this. so you're far far beyond them! happy soon-bday!
ladies in navy
Wishes & Reality
Happy birthday week!! You look absolutely beautiful β I'm in love with this romper on you. Love your life lessons as well π
Heidi D.
http://www.wishesandreality.com
Shannon Jenkins
Ummm hello gorgeous!!! You look so amazing and I love your hair! Happy almost birthday and what great lessons you have learned! Hopefully 24 will be your best year yet!
<3 Shannon
Upbeat Soles
Charlotte
LOVE your outfit!
Adri Lately
You are killin it in this outfit! So many wise words, but totally love the BeyoncΓ© one! Happy early birthday!
xo Adri
http://www.adrilately.blogspot.com
Liz | Shopping My Closet
What wise thoughts/learnings! Happy early birthday!
Liz @ ShoppingMyCloset.com
Kari
Happy birthday, sweet lady!!! What wonderful things to have learned. I love what you said about continuing to dream "One of the saddest things about growing up is that we stop playing, pretending, using our imaginations. Never stop". That is so true and something I keep in mind each passing year. As you get older, you'll keep realizing that the stuff you thought people had figured out, they really don't. I still feel like a kid and blindly navigating this whole life thing:) You're doing AWESOME and looking pretty fly while doing so:)
Head to Toe Chic
Happy Birthday, Alissa!!!! You are looking seriously gorgeous in this outfit! I love that romper on you.
and I love these lessons so much! They are all so true.
xo,
Angela
Because Shanna Said So
Happy early birthday!! You are wise beyond your years. I only wish I had told myself all these things when I was your age. You my friend, are going to do amazing things…embrace them…you have so much ahead of you!!
countrygirlcityfashion
Your hair is so so so beautiful! You look really stunning.
Stylin' In St. Louis
Happy Early! I think that these are some great lessons that are so true!
xo,
Jacqueline
Stylin In St. Louis
Anna Baun
First, happy early birthday! Second, this is a great compilation of sound advise. I love that you are reflecting on the year, learning from your experiences and moving the hell on from them. 2015 is your new chapter and what a great way to start fresh with so many great experiences behind you helping push you forward (good or bad). I imagine this will be one of your best years yet! Great post! XO
Anna
alilyloveaffair.com
Brooke Anderson
Happy almost birthday, you look stunning!! I loved reading through what you've learned this past year and this it's great to reflect whenever a birthday comes around. I couldn't agree more with learning to say sorry. I've learned it makes so many situations that may have escalated just fizzle out, plus it always makes me feel better to admit I'm wrong than to continue to make excuses for myself.
Hope your birthday is fabulous!
Brooke
pumps and push-ups
Aubrey
Alissa, believe me, it doesn't get easier, but it does get better! I'm turning 30 this year, and you couldn't pay me to be 23-24 again. I would maybe take a rewind to 27, but not any younger.
The main lesson I will impart with you is that insecure people will always judge you for doing something that it contrary to the decisions/choices they have made for themselves. They see your decisions to do things differently as a judgment of their own choices… and that's just not the case. I wish someone had told me even just a few years ago. xoxo
Nicole Layne
Happy Early Birthday!! I wish I had learned some of these lessons when I was 23 instead of much later in life, especially the last three. I'm still trying to learn (and implement) as putting myself and my health first is one of my resolutions this year.
I hope you have a great birthday! You look amazing!
Nicole
Nicole to the Nines
Oh hello, Love
Happy birthday! I'm so glad to see you back here! These are great and difficult lessons to be learning. I think I did my most growing and changing at 23 and it completely changed who I am, where I am and what I do. The decisions I made at 23 have put me where I am today and I am so thankful for those hard decisions. Keep on being who you are and making those tough choices! You won't regret it.
Natalie Folchi
I just found your blog and am SO HAPPY I did. This post is beautiful. For one, totally with you on the Beyonce comment (I might have lol'ed). And your last point really struck a chord with me. I'm such a daydreamer at heart, and I hope it's something I never lose. My grandma is 80 but she has such a young spirit – proof that you're never too old to dream!
Happy birthday! And as a 24-year-old, I can tell you it's going to be a good year π
xo,
Natalie | CincinNatalie
cincin-natalie.com
Ashley
These are all so great! Learning to be ok with saying βsorryβ when youβre in the wrong is such an important part of adult relationships. Happy early birthday lady!
Lindsey Herzog
lovely dress. looks fab on you! xoxo linds
my style blog :: Ruby Girl
Nikki
You are so wise, almost birthday girl. I think 24 is going to be an amazing year for you. (Also, you look fantastic) XOXO
Nikki
thefashionablewife.com
Jessika Garcia
I love all of those reasons! Especially not apologizing for who you are and Beyonce having a nanny. You speak words of wisdom! Happy 24th birthday! May there be many, many blessings (and many, many more!) xo.
Jessika
Pat
Happy Birthday dear friend. Thank you for sharing your lessons learned sweetie, you're pretty darn young to have learned these already. You must be an old soil in a beautiful body. You so rock those killer boots! And your outfit is so perfect. I've often dreamed of having hair like yours, it was just a few weeks ago I cut my locks all off so no chance now! I want to tell you how much I admire you, after a hard 6 months you've come out on top and make it look so easy! If you would please pass along your secret. Love bunches!
awhite
"You cannot control other people's reactions to your choices." This really resonates; so true and seems like a lesson we'll have to learn over and over. (Also, people are crazy, but that's a given, yes?)
Wishing you a HAPPY 24TH, BABE! May the next year bring you success, love, and happiness. You're going to kill it, I know.
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
LyddieGal
Happy Birthday Alissa!!!
There are some very good lessons here, and good ways to live your life. Not comparing is a very hard thing to do. Even if you know you shouldn't, even if it's so ridiculous (like trying to compare yourself to Beyonce. Do you even want to be Beyonce? I sure don't).
Sisters. Mine is going to be 21 next month. Of course that makes me feel ancient, but also super happy that my sister is an adult who I can talk to, complain to, and have as a big part of my life.
Owning up to your mistakes is hard, but one of the best things you can do. When you admit it, somehow the problem is less of a problem. Especially if you come in and say "yes, that was my fault, and here is how I'm going to fix it."
Hope today is wonderful, and that you keep all these lessons, even if only the back of your mind to remind yourself that you are smart, beautiful, and amazing, all year long. For the rest of your life, actually.
http://www.iamchiconthecheap.com
Maria M.
Happy Birthday, Alissa! I hope it's a wonderful day π
Loving the cute outfit here as well as the lessons you wrote about. I feel like I'm learning some of these too. Hard to learn, but so good at the same time.
Shannon Rice
Happy Happy Birthday Alissa! I hope you have a wonderful day!
I looove this post! These are all GREAT lessons not matter your age and it's always nice having a reminder of such lessons. On top of that, your outfit is gorgeous and those boots are to-die-for!
Shannon
Clothes & Quotes
Emily Bonk
Happy Birthday! I love this post. Thanks for sharing!
Emily
http://adorableandaffordable.weebly.com
Gingi Freeman
LOVE this post (and your outfit).. I usually save my "end of year" reflections for New Years, but birthdays? Great idea!
Anyhoo, I found your blog through a fellow blogger, and I would love to keep in touch! It would totally make my day if you stopped by my blog and said hi sometime! – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com
Vett Vandiver
Happy birthday my fellow capricorn! such an awesome post, and I hope this is a great year for you!
Sarah Lagen
Very wise words for 24!! With this mindset and attitude you are going to have the best year ever!! (and yes, get your sleep and rest!! – my favorite piece of advice!)
MIDORI LINE
you look absolutely stunning in this print and romper! xoxo
http://midoriline.com/blog/
Krysten Quiles
It sounds like you learned a lot at 23. Happy belated birthday!
Ashley
Such good words, girl! You have learned some great things. Sometimes going through the hardest stuff is what teaches us so much. And realizing how valuable true friends are is so important. You look gorgeous too. Happy birthday!
Lisa Morice
Great advice for one so young. It's the tough times that teach us the most sadly. Happy Belated Birthday Alissa! May the next year be everything you're dreaming of. BTW one of my favourite quotes is "We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing." Never stop playing Alissa!
Kristina
Happy birthday!!
Simply Fashion TV
Happy Birthday, girly! I'm loving the tip you shared about Beyonce! LOL! Moral of the story: don't compare yourself with others. π
xoxo
AndrΓ©a Christine
Polette Eyewear Review | SimplyFashionTV
Lauren {Fizz and Frosting}
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays! These lessons are so important. I especially appreciated the one about good friends. It seems time is so, so short these days, and being a better friend is something I'm really striving for!
Priya
I am a few days late in wishing you a very happy birthday! I hope it was a wonderful one. You look fierce in that romper and those boots! Fabulous!!
This is a great list of useful, not always fun, but not cliche advice. I especially like the apology one, STILL working on that one. You are wise beyond your years! Thanks for sharing, and HBD again!
β₯ perfectly Priya
willfullyelegant
Wish you a (belated) happy birthday Alissa! You are such a gorgeous girl and possess so much maturtiy at such a young age! You will surely go places! The biggest life lesson for me is to not compare myself to somebody elses middle. I do that often and regret often, and need to stop. Everyone has a different measure and I need to accept that.anyways..Hope you have a fantastic year ahead!!
KP
Happy Belated birthday darling!!!!! … just wait till 25 comes, and passes… ew.
Eleventh & Sixteenth
Jacy
Happy (belated) birthday! I turn 24 in just a few months and identified with so many things you said, especially… To not compare yourself to others, and to be comfortable and at peace with who you are. I think with battling low self esteem for so long that I was always looking to other people for validation and it killed me when I never quite 'fit in.' To have the confidence and peace in myself that I do now is so invaluable, and I see it in you too! I hope this year brings 12 months of joy your way!
Jacy
http://www.lovelenore.com
Andrea Darst
Happy (belated) Birthday!
Claire
Loved reading this! Happy {belated} Birthday doll!
God bless,
XO, Claire
http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.blogspot.com
Keit
Happy belated Birthday my dear!!! ^_^ I absolutely agree on everything you wrote, but I'm still struggling with a few points myself! Learning to accept myself and to ignore people's stupid remarks, is one of those things I'm working on right now, and I'm working on it hard!!! π I didn't learn a lot when I turned 24, but last year when I turned 25 it was like a smack in the face. A smack that I had to change myself completely- my thoughts, my reaction to the world, my emotions, everything. Which turned out to be an easier task than I would have imagined – fake it till you make it π
Giselle Santos
I'm so in love with this post, the outfit and your blog!!!!! I want this to be my bday outfit ^_^
Giselle | Red Lipstick & Champagne Dreams