I haven’t written super personally in a while. The truth is this; I’m 24. I’m almost a year out of college. I have no idea what to do with my life. It’s like you are handed a blank piece of paper and you have absolutely no restrictions on what you can put on that paper. You have a blank space and you can write anything in. The thought of that makes you want to fall to the ground and hide in a closet. Almost a year later, I still feel that way. I’ve never known exactly what I want to do, I just knew I wanted to work and be good at it. I’ve known what I am good at and what I’m bad at. I don’t have a dream job right now. I don’t know if it even exists. Perhaps I have to make that job because it doesn’t exist. I’m just being really honest when I say that I am going through this new phase of being afraid of decisions. I’ve always been confident. I’ve never doubted decisions before. But something about this blank piece of paper that I’ve been given has made me doubt everything I have ever done.
What I do know is that I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted trying to keep it together, keep searching for my life meaning and where I should be. Should I be in Kansas City? Should I be in Chicago? Should I be in Wichita? Do I move to Dallas? Do I have the balls to move to where I know absolutely no one and hope for the pieces to come together? These questions are constantly on my mind. Am I working towards something or am I just aimlessly trying to pass the days until I figure out life?
At the time that I am writing this I just finished reading an article on Buzzfeed about the secrets other 24 year olds have. The main one is this, no one has a freaking idea what they are doing and it scares the poop out of them. So then I ask, if we are all so scared, why aren’t we talking about it? If we are all so scared, regardless of age, why don’t people admit that they don’t have it figured out. I’m just being really honest when I say that I am going through this new phase of being afraid of decisions. I’ve always been confident. I’ve never doubted decisions before. But something about this blank piece of paper that I’ve been given has made me doubt everything I have ever done. I doubt the blog posts I put up. I doubt anyone wants to hang out with me. I doubt myself too much to want to meet new people because I don’t know how to explain where I am in life.
The fear of the future is such a real thing. The excitement that you also feel is real. I wake up daily and have a mix of excitement that makes me want to go after every single thing that I think I might be good at. I also then take a deep breath and feel a crippling fear of failure, making a wrong decision and the things I put on that blank piece of paper.
I wish I was at the point where I had a paragraph to nicely tie all of these things together and show how all of these feelings led to some paramount moment in my life. I don’t have that yet. I don’t have that lovely ending with a bow. I’m working towards that but right now I have to leave this post kind of like my life is…unfinished and raw. I know someday it won’t be like that but right now, this is my life at 24.
twentysomethingsimple
I'm 25, and everything you said is so spot on. I feel like I've lost the confidence I gained in my younger years… Now I'm always doubting myself and wondering where the heck my life is headed. People always ask me what I want to do with my degree, and I always say that I don't know, because it's true. I have two more years to figure out where I'm going after I finish and I'm terrified to think of what's going to happen next. So yes, you are totally not alone. We can get through this weird part of life, right?
xo Kimi
cassandramonroeblog
I'm turning 26 this month and know that I am NOT at where I want to be BUT I'm definitely on the road to getting there- at times I feel great but at other times I seriously doubt myself and play the comparison game. I still have moments where I feel exactly what you described and it's okay! It's good to know I'm not the only one feeling that way.
As far as relocating, DO IT!! Maybe I'm saying that because of my military background, but you WILL meet new people (it takes a while- you'll have a couple months alone at first, but if you have cool coworkers, they'll get to know you and invite you out, then you meet their friends, and you suddenly meet a lot of new people.) And who knows, new opportunities might open up for you that never would have happened before. And the best part- if you don't like it, you always know where home is 🙂
Cassandra Monroe | a lifestyle blog
http://www.cassandramonroe.com
Keit
I just turned 26 today and I have no fucking idea what to do with my life or myself. 😀 This really bothered me when I was your age, I even fell into a deep depression at some point, but after thinking about it through a new perspective I just can't be bothered anymore. I just do what makes me happy, even if it means it's not going to be a dream job, I just do it, because life is vanishing as fast as you can say "what am I supposed to beeee"! 😀 I don't want to wake up someday and think "oh shit, I could have been happy, but instead I just spent my younger years thinking of how to live my life" screw that!
fitfabfun Jane
Such a cute top! You look super adorable!
xo, Jane
http://www.fitfabfunmom.com
Rachelle Pinksole
trust me you will look back on these days, so my advice would be to just work hard and have fun. Don't worry so much things have a way of falling into place. At 24 I had no clue what was going to happen to me and at 25 I had the biggest heart break EVER. But I can tell you that it will get better a whole lot better 🙂
You look adorable as always 🙂
xo
PinkSole
Taramixandmatch
Finding your way can be frustrating, but it will all work out in the end. Just keep doing what you are doing, it sounds like you have the drive you need to be super successful at whatever you do 🙂
Sabina B.
Lovely look!
http://jeansandroses.blogspot.com
nunù sofia
gorgeous look honey!!! so prettyyyyy.
kissesss to you.
Nunù.
Check it out my last post: http://www.honeyandcotton.org/cheap-and-glamour-sunglasses-by-polette/
Zoza Gema
Gorgeous shoes and bag, you look great in that outfit.
xx Z&G
http://www.temple-of-beauty.com
Jessica
We can have our quarter life crisis moments together 😉 I talked about feeling guilty the other day when people ask me if I'm actively looking for another job right now and responding with "not really." It's okay to take some time and weed out what you don't like so that you can make clearer, informed decisions. Text me if you need/want to!
26 and Not Counting
AH
Spot on! Thank you!
I read an article just this morning by Paul Maxwell.
http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/when-your-twenties-are-darker-than-you-expected
Whereas I appreciate what he has to say, I could not agree with you more that we don't talk about it…any of it. I talk frequently on my blog of my aggravation with the silence among our generation. We don't voice nor is it encouraged to voice our frustrations, struggles, etc. with our daily lives.
I don't have an ending note either but I will be praying for you and thank you for speaking up! =)
Maria M.
So much yes. I am very much in the same boat, and my impatient self just wants to have it figured out already! It's good to be reminded that most people go through a phase like this – makes the whole experience a lot less lonely. Cheering you on from Minnesota!
Shannon Jenkins
Going out into the real world after college is super scarey but whatever you decide on things will always fall into place! And if you pick the wrong decision and you make a mistake oh well that's part of life! You learn from it and it makes you stronger and helps steer you in to the direction you truly belong! You look fabulous too! So in love with those metallic shoes!
<3 Shannon
Upbeat Soles
Jennifer
I feel you, Alissa! I'm 22 turning 23 in a few months and I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm currently in grad school and I love it but the thought of doing *just* one thing for the rest of my life scares me! I know that your degree doesn't restrict you to a specific field but it's all so scary! Making decisions has never been my strong suit so having the future wide open is terrifying. Here's to hoping we figure it out.
xo jen
Skyscrapers & Palm Trees
Merritt
Oh honey, I've been there. I'm nearly 28 (YIKES!). I will say that testing out multiple industries via internships in college helped me find out what i didn't like, help me find what I truly love faster. Since you already I have a full-time job, you could always try some other things out on the side – perhaps taking a photography or art class, using something like ClassPass to test out different fitness classes. Just doing something to introduce you to more things while you're working.
The Style Scribe
ourthreesons
I'm probably one of your oldest readers at 50, and I wish I could take you out for coffee to tell you not to worry so much! Start moving forward and see where it takes you, when opportunities come up and they fit your skill set and interest, give them a shot. There is no perfect job out there imo. I've been blessed to find work that suits my aptitude and interest but i know there are other jobs I could have done too. It's OK to make mistakes, that's how you learn what you want to do. I had so many different (mostly part-time) jobs so when I got the job that defines what I do for work now, I knew it was the right fit. Keep going and don't let fear stop you from trying.
Karly @ Miss in the Midwest
These types of posts always are my favorite from you because I think we all appreciate your honesty and transparency. I totally can relate with you here on a few things, and I'm 26! Maybe we aren't supposed to have it all figured out yet. I'm a firm believer that there's a greater plan that we aren't aware of and as long as we live each day to its fullest doing what we want to do, the plan eventually will come to fruition. Hang in there!
Audrey Williams
I'm graduating next semester and this entire post couldn't be more real for me right now. Thanks for reminding me that we're not alone in this strange period called out twenties. We'll figure it out!
Audrey
http://www.lululinden.com
Garaytreasures
I feel this way to some extent sometimes. For example, was college a waste? Was working in a school system I hated worth it? Should I post that on the blog? Should I persue this or that, continue education. All I know was I aspired to be a teacher, stay at home mom and writer and I have done and am all three now but what could I do more. You will fill that blank paper in no time. I have faith in you. Love the outfit.
Rachel xo
Garay Treasures
Kari
Girl, you are not alone! I am 32. 32?!!! I can't believe I'm this old! All I can say is that feeling of not knowing what you want and what's coming next is so real and never quite goes away. I remember my early 20s as being so tumultuous. I picked a corporate career, but wondered every day if there wasn't something else out there. I thought many times about just picking up and moving to the beach and becoming a surf instructor (even though I don't know how to surf:). As I got older, it did help to know others felt the same way and no one had it figured out like I thought they did. It just seemed like people pick a path, any path and then plow ahead. I often wonder what if. But then I think about how happy and satisfied I am right now. I still wonder what's next, though, so I try to carve out time to do things that make me happy. I'm never going to have a creative career, and I've had to come to terms with the fact that that's ok. I can still do creative things, though, and that helps. I think it's awesome you're opening up and starting the conversation. Whatever you do, it will be wonderful! I know that doesn't help, but hang in there. Have fun. Make mistakes:)
Cee
I think what you're experiencing is quite common – not that that makes it any easier. When I finished university at 22, I took the first job that came along. And subsequently gave it up two years later, because I was young and had no idea how good I had it… I had no experience, nothing to compare it to. I've spent the past… close to seven years trying to find another job that would make me at least comparably happy. I've been lucky to finally find it, but suffice it to say that it's no easy for any of us. The point is that the blank slate is yours, and you get to fill it with whatever you want – and the mistakes only make you more who you are going to be.
xox,
Cee
Alyson
absolutely love what you're saying here. I'm a full decade older than you — wow, scary! — and think it takes major guts to put it out there. People in my age group don't do that enough either (hence the vent sesh posts) but it takes someone to start a conversation so glad you're doing it. it can be hard to figure out what you're meant to do but realize that in a worse case scenario, even if you go down the not perfect path, it could lead you there, and hell, you'll still be younger than I am now most likely. 🙂 You're awesome.
alyson
http://www.theaveragegirlsguide.com
Charnele Michel
We all go through it. I was lost with what I wanted to do in life so I went to grad school. Now I'm graduating in a couple weeks (and 24 years old) and I know exactly where I want to be in life. I just have no idea how I'm gong to get there, all I know is that I'll work my tushy off until it works out. I encourage you to do the same! You're not in this alone 🙂
Breenah A
I want to preface this with I am NOT telling you to have a child. I'm 25 and honestly I have no idea what I'd be doing if I didn't have Quinn. I was never drawn to any kind of work, other than theatre but that doesn't pay well (especially in Wichita), and I really didn't want to stay at the job I had or stick with what I was majoring in (international business for who knows what reason). Just reiterating the fact that there are a LOT of people who have no idea what they want to do. My mom's 45 and she still says she doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up, so don't freak out about it too much. Choices are difficult, but sometimes you have to make them. And sometimes you have to make the wrong ones to figure out what the right ones are.
Ginny Clothed with Grace
I was a hot mess at 24, seriously! Now is the time to move, explore, and discover what's out there. I know you'll land on your feet.
Kyle @ Professionalish
Girllllll, preach. I oscillate between feeling like maybe I'm actually kind of a grownup and needing my mom to talk me through basic tasks. It's so nice to hear that everyone else is in the same boat!
Susie W.
This post could not hit closer to home for me right now. I turn 25 in a few weeks and I am definitely rethinking basically my entire life. Nice to know I'm not alone 🙂
xx,
Susie
http://www.SequinsandStrawberries.com
Allie
Love the honesty and I am so right here with you when I say I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. But yes, I want it to be awesome and maybe make a difference somehow? I was just talking to my sister all about this. I do think we should be talking about this more publicly so we all don't feel like we should have our sh** worked out! 🙂
allienotsally.blogspot.com
Monic Sutter
LOVE THE SHOOOOES !
M♥
Simply Sutter
nancy @ adore to adorn
The fear of the future never really stops. We all have them and I totally remember feeling this way out of college myself. Unfortunately, I was not one of those who went straight to grad school to study a specific trade. In fact, the irony of that is most of my friends who did that now feel they wished they took some time. They don't love their job (though they make good money) and they feel they are missing out on "something."
In some ways, you are fortunate to have a blank page. You can write what you want. You are not assigned to a specific path nor are you carrying any pressure to follow one. =)
xo,
nancy
http://www.adoretoadorn.com
Adri Lately
Hang in there girl! You definitely are not alone. I've been out of college for sometime and feel that I definitely go through phases of uncertainty and while it's not fun the pieces eventually come together.
xo Adri
http://www.adrilately.blogspot.com
Hayley Roderick
Loving the shoes the best! xx, Hayley http://www.dailydoseofdarling.com
Shay Henrion
This is totally normal! I felt like this at 24, too. Hell, I still feel like that and I am almost 28. Your twenties are just a rough decade and a time to figure out you're life. And that can mean it's scary and there's so much unknown, but trust that things will work out. As for moving to a new place where you don't know anyone, YOU CAN DO IT! I did it 6 months ago and it wasn't bad. You just have to be outgoing and confident (or at least fake confident). But remember that everyone our age is in the same boat that we are!
xx Shay
http://www.thecurlycasualista.com
Head to Toe Chic
I think that so many people feel the same way as you. Now is the perfect time in your life to move if you want to and to try out a new job. I know that in the end it's all going to work out so well and you're going to rock it!!
xo,
Angela
Maye
I have been there and I'm only 22. I had my mid life crisis this past summer and things get so much better! Don't give up! Things will fall into place! Love you!
Meredith
http://chicagobymeredith.com/
Stylin' In St. Louis
I still feel the same way! I have so many things I want to do. I need to figure out how I can fit it all in.
xo,
Jacqueline
Stylin In St. Louis
Anna Baun
You are definitely not alone! I still struggle with this question and I am in my early 30's. I know it will all come together soon! And if you're considering a move, I selfishly recommend Chicago! 🙂 XO
Anna
alilyloveaffair.com
Alissa Kelly
Girl. This is EXACTLY how I feel. At 29. I've been out of college for 7 years and I don't have my dream job at all. I hate my job in fact and I'm miserable… I know there's SO much more out there and this isn't for me, yet I have no clue where my life is headed. While it (surprisingly) doesn't keep me up at night – I worry about it all the darn time. My sister is happily married, in a great career and is 31. Yet my parents keep asking ME when I'm giving them grandchildren, getting married, etc etc. That doesn't make me feel good. The only advice I can give is: you have to be brave. Be strong. And know EVERYTHING happens for a reason. You make the decision you do for a reason that may not be clear for a while. But whatever happens, is supposed to happen – the good, bad and ugly. I can also honestly say moving away from home was so hard because I'm close with my family but I know there's nothing there career-wise for me there but it was also what I needed to do to learn how to live on my own and be in a place that has so many more opportunities. I have a pretty long resume because I haven't found my dream job and I'm tired of struggling financially and mentally wondering what will happen next… where I'll go next. But, I'm trying to keep in mind that I am where I'm supposed to be right now. In this moment. Tomorrow, things could completely change. You never know!! Hang in there!!!!! xoxo
Fabulously Average
It's funny how we both had all the feels about getting older. I don't think that it ever gets wrapped up with a bow.
Wishes & Reality
I always appreciate your honesty! Time helps clarify things and you don't seem to be the type of girl to sit back and wait for life to happen to her:) I can't wait to see what's in store for you!
Heidi
http://www.wishesandreality.com
Tiffany Griffin
I think we have all been at this very same spot in our lives. Enjoy today!! Lovely outfit dear. xx
http://www.flauntandcenter.com
SimplyxClassic
i agree with the above comment… enjoy TODAY… when you're my age (i literally can't believe i just wrote that but it's true! and ps, i'm a decade older than you=) you'll look back and regret all the time you wasted on worrying… just take care of TODAY! <33
Denise Kokinis
Hello 26! I traveled and lived overseas and alone for so long and now I am back in my hometown living with my parents for now! No worries, we all feel that way at some point!
Loving your outfit by the way! I am adoring that top so much and I love your metallic flats!
Denise | Fashion Love Letters
Laura B
I get so worried about personal blog posts I don't even post them. It was brave of you to admit what we all feel. It almost gets worse when you are a parent because your decisions affect your kids, too! If you ever find out what the perfect job is, I am sure we would all like to know!
Jackie
I'm 27 and still dealing with all of this! I've been working for a few years, but one day, I decided my job wasn't for me, and soon I'll be embarking on a completely different path. I will keep that vague for now until I actually explain on my own blog later in the week, but all I can say is, I feel ya! Your twenties are a really, really awkward time and I think most of us have no clue what we want until we learn what we DON'T.
Jackie
Something About That
Nikki
Truth – I am 28 and I think I have figured out what I MAY want to do. I think there are very few people who really know… I say things like that to make myself feel better. I also tell myself that we will figure it out when the time is right.. Hang in there friend. We will figure it out eventually!
Nikki
thefashionablewife.com
Joanna Duffy
First of all, you look beautiful and I adore those shoes!! Secondly, I'm 27 and felt the same way a couple years ago. I've made a conscious effort since then to just appreciate everyday and enjoy the journey, wherever it is leading to! I still feel a little lost sometimes, especially when it comes to career aspirations, but I love the fact that we can all support each other and be sincere with our blogging buddies! xx
lovejoanna.com
LyddieGal
I'm not sure life will ever feel 'finished' even when it does someday end. Hopefully someday we can all find something that we love, or a passion that motivates us, though for the most part, everyone is just fumbling around, passing the time, and faking it as best they can.
http://www.iamchiconthecheap.com
Elle Sees
i still don't know what i want to be when i grow up. you will look fabulous in the meantime (that came up on autocorrect as "eat time" which isn't a bad thing either) while you are figuring things out!
Chelsea Ginger Side of Life
What a beautifully written and heartfelt response. I think we are all trying to figure it out to some extent. I just quit my job and decided to travel for 5 months. Was this the best decision for my long term career? I will never know. But was this the best decision I could make for myself in the short term. Yes. So I guess, we just move forward with our decisions with the conviction that it is the right choice for the moment and deal with the consequences when/if they arise. Looking forward to seeing where the next year takes you!
Chelsea
Ginger Side of Life
Zarrah Jane
Ohhh i love your shoes.
You look so cool on it
XO
Check my new post.
The Bandwagon Chic | Instagram | Bloglovin
Priya
I have to constantly remind myself that what I'm doing right now is ok. I say that about every day things, like, how I spend a weekend, but also in the larger sense, like the job I'm doing, how I'm living, is ok. We're still so young that there's a million changes and things to come! Still, I understand your sentiment, and I think you're doing just great. College seems so easy now doesn't it?!
♥ perfectly Priya
KP
I am loving those satin pants, are they satin? Obsessed!
Eleventh & Sixteenth
Allison Loftus
Cute silver shoes!
http://www.velvetcrate.com
Dressed2dNines Blog
This is a great look for work! I love the lace detailing on your top and your flats are super cute!
http://www.dressed2dnines.com
Straight A Style
I'm 28 and I still feel this way. Ha, that probably isn't very helpful. Adult life is scary and awesome all at the same time. You look e beautiful and I think you are amazing!
Amy Ann
Now blogging at my new site Straight A Style
Jasmin daily
Yeeeessss! I will be 24 in June and a year out of college at that point and I feel the exact same way! I don't quite now how to explain where I'm at so avoid meeting new people, want to take a shot of everything but fear failure so much I don't. It's this weird place to be but you're right we should all talk about it more because it is so reassuring knowing "you're not the only one"
xo, Jasmin
http://www.jasmindaily.com
Maya McDonald
Ummmm…..this is EVERYTHING. First of all, I spend half my days thinking, " i totally got this" and then the other half of the time thinking that I'm a poor excuse for an adult. You are one talented lady and I know that you're going to figure it out – even if it's a struggle in the process. You got this girl (and you're going to be great!) xx
willfullyelegant
Alissa, if it helps you get perspective, I left home and everything I knew at 22 and moved 8000+ miles , across continents to pursue higher studies and create a life of my own, alone. Do what your heart is set on, you might go back and forth on it, but this is how I decide when I really want something. I think of all the alternatives, and if at the end, I come back to the one I thought I really wanted to do, I do it, but only after having thought out how I will handle if the situation flips to worse or the best. I would know so well what it feels like to have the fear and excitement of not knowing what the future holds, not in terms of life crisis, but in terms of birthing a human. Its scary, its unknown and its just like all other parts of our life, eventually the crisis passes away and the pieces just fall into place together. Trust yourself and you will be just fine.
xx
Bogi RedReticule
It's a tough spot to be in! It truly needs time and some love and patience with yourself to find out what you see yourself doing for a lifetime every day. I was trying to go to 15 directions at the same time and be everything to everyone I came across. ..learned some lessons and things about me. Don't be too tough on yourself! Trust your heart!
Red Reticule | Red Reticule Collection
Madeline Mihaly
I turn 23 in July and I think I'm on at least my 5th quarter life crisis. I'm about 6 months post grad – working but trying to figure out my next move, my apartment for the fall, and what I even want to do with my life. My only advice – just try to enjoy everything as you are doing it. Make life happen (even if you have no idea whats going on) but don't let it happen to you. I'm working on experiencing fully and doing my best to learn from everything!
xo, Maddy
http://cassidylou.com
Nicole Layne
I think everyone has a quarter-life crisis, and the truth is I don't think anyone ever has it completely figured out. I had a quarter-life crisis at 25, 26, 28… I think we just have to trust in ourselves that we are making a good decision, try to make it right, and accept that fact that not everything will work out. I moved from Atlanta to Madison, WI when I was 25 for a job and where I didn't know anyone and that scared the crap out of me, but it ended up being an amazing experience (apart from the winters…). You live and learn and all of your experiences (good and bad) build on each other to prepare you for something great even though we may not know what it is right now. Don't worry, you got this!
Nicole
Nicole to the Nines
Jacy
I think I can speak for all of the 63 other commenters in saying that we love your honesty! My husband is 24 and I'm almost 24 and we're definitely in that position. I got an amazing job almost a year ago and absolutely love it, and it's kind of supposed to be my "forever job" and we're kind of supposed to be in our "forever town" where we raise our kids near family. Yet, we're both constantly wondering if there's more out there and a better place to live! What's holding us back from picking up and moving is that we both have great jobs here…so how do you find that balance between job security and an easy place to live versus doing something new and taking a huge risk while you're young?? I sadly do not know the answer, but just know that there are so many of us out there in the same place as you. One positive thing I can say is that I hated my first job out of college but thankfully was only there a year and the doors opened up for the great job I have now. If you're single and not attached to your job I say to go for taking a risk and trying something crazy new! You can always come back 🙂
Jacy
http://www.lovelenore.com