All of this year I have struggled with being okay. Being happy. Feeling like it’s okay to be happy with so much pain around us. So, because of this, I have to say something that is incredibly obvious but a real breakthrough for me.
It’s okay to be happy. Let me explain. For about a year I’ve struggled with the guilt of being happy while everything is a dumpster fire. Mass shootings, murders, taxes, politics, assault, everything has escalated. Every week something worse happens. And every week I find myself feeling more and more guilty for being personally happy.
Even more confused? This is the 10th draft so you’re not alone. It’s been hard to describe this. Read on.
I’m upset. It is angering that I have to call politicians every three days and demand they not take away fundamental rights. I’m scared that the next concert I go to will have a mass shooting. I’m angry and I’m mad that I have to explain that I don’t even walk to the car the same way a man can carefree. But being angry is a real time suck.
This year I’ve struggled with a question at least once a day, “How can I be personally happy when there is so much bad happening in the world?” I wondered if that made me apathetic to those around me who are facing truly life-threatening issues. Does it make me a bad person to choose to be happy?
Sweater: Exact (Wearing a medium, runs a little boxy so I sized down.) Also this one is similar and super cute!
This year I’ve made new friends, got a promotion and am doing many new things that scare me. I’ve had a lot of growth, growing pains and overall, I’ve had a good year. Yet I feel bad that while I’m having a good year, others are not. How do I reconcile and remove the guilt of being okay and happy when there is so much pain?
Of all the people in the world, DJ Khaled did an interview and he touched on this topic. In the video talks about the impact you have in your direct world. Every one of us has some sort of impact on those in our world. If we are upset, caught up in the mad in the world, are we really being the best we can be for those around us? Ourselves? Truly the only thing we can semi control is our impact on others in our own world. Does it benefit anyone if I am angry about everything?
It is exhausting being angry all the time but it is also exhausting to care. There are two very different sides of exhaustion. Right now I’m exhausting myself on both ends. I’m reading THIS book right now, which is making me extremely aware of maybe I care about too much and am exhausting myself caring about the little things that do not matter. Sometimes you have to save some caring in order to truly take a stand for something big. It’s self-preservation.
Top: Exact (wearing a medium, size down)/ Earrings: Exact
So what are you supposed to do with all of this? Does this feel like a convoluted mess? You see why it has taken me so long to publish this. So let’s read these words out loud to ourselves. It is okay if you are okay and there is pain and uncertainty in the world. You can celebrate your moments without taking away from the bigger picture. It is okay if you are having a good year.
Maybe it doesn’t feel like you have an impact on the bigger world, but you do. You have an even bigger impact on the world around you. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine all the time. But you also don’t have to feel bad for having good in your life.
I wish I had more eloquent words to sum up this post. However, being realistic, this is a post I’ve tried to write for most of 2017 and I don’t think anything is going to become clearer to me. But I do know that I am very grateful for the good in my life and you are part of that.
Rachelle
Something will always be wrong with this world, it is totally ok to be happy.
xo
Pinksole
Courtney
Being happy is awesome, and you should never feel guilt about being happy.
http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/
Meg @ Closet Fashionista
This is so true. It’s more important now than ever to let ourselves be happy. When everything is going wrong with the world it’s all we have left. I always get asked when I travel if I’m scared to go overseas because of all these attacks. What I say to them is “if I didn’t do things because of what could happen I would never leave the house. You have to take risks if you want to enjoy life. I’m just as more likely to have a tragedy at home as I am if I go to London or Paris”
Amy
This is a really good post and really good thoughts on a tough topic. I think you said it well. It can feel strange and hard to be happy in our own worlds when the bigger world is struggling so much, wrong. But the truth is we can and should be happy while also doing all we can to make things better in a broader sense.
Amy Ann
Straight A Style
Alyssa
I’m with you. I’ve struggled with this as well and have settled on the fact that if we’re not personally happy, how are we going to have a positive impact on this world?
Did you see the Taylor Swift was criticized because she essentially said she had a good year? That made me so mad! It’s okay to have a good day, week, month or year, even if things aren’t so great around you. How else are we supposed to go on if we’re just as miserable as some of the events around us. Smile, jump for joy if you feel like it! You deserve it!
Jess Zimlich
I think you said it perfectly! 2017 has been a shithow for me personally, but seeing people around me thrive gives me hope that I’ll be thriving soon, too. Cheers to YOU! 🙂
Jess Zimlich
See. I can’t even spell shitshow. MY LIFE IS A SHITSHOW.
Dana
Love your thoughts on this topic, and I really think we need to remind ourselves about being happy when there’s a lot going on. After my boyfriend’s best friend died, I felt so weird smiling or laughing because I didn’t know if I was supposed to. I was obviously so hurt and crushed about what happened, but I didn’t know if it was ok to have moments of happiness during the chaos. Thanks for sharing your thoughts my friend!
xx Dana
Pink Champagne Problems
Whitney
I’ve been feeling this exact way too, and I think that’s part of why the idea of “self care” has gotten so popular. While everything else in the world is going to shit (excuse my language) it’s important that we realize when we have been laboring emotionally and mentally and we need to take a break and enjoy things. Sure, I’m pissed off at the orange dude that’s threatening the livelihood of our country, but I also loved the new Star Wars movie! I’m going to tweet about both things at the same time, and that’s okay. I think that’s just what our society has to do now. Enjoying life while remembering there is work to be done. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way.
Beautygirl24
Yes, it’s more than okay to be happy! There has always been pain, suffering, and unrest in the world and there always will be, long after we are gone. The best we can do is show love and gratitude. It will spread!
Shannon
My moto is you only live once so although in this scary world it can be hard to be happy or not feel guilt for being happy but you have give in to yourself and let out your happiness! If more people would trust their happiness and let themselves be the world would be such a better place!
<3 ShannonÂ
Upbeat Soles
Lyddiegal
I’m glad you’ve decided that it’s okay to be happy. Being happy is hard enough, so I can’t imagine allowing the pain of the world and things you can’t control make you feel guilty about it. You had an awesome year and should be able to sit and appreciate it and enjoy it.
You didn’t link to the book you are reading. Is it “the subtle art of not giving a f*ck”? I’m guessing that because I think a lot of people are reading it right now. I just finished, but I’m still not sure of what I should be taking away from it.
http://www.iamchiconthecheap.com/