If you want to read more about my style and body image journey, this is a great post to start with.
I wear a size 10/12. The average woman is a size 16. So why is it that I struggle to EVER see anyone with a similar body type to mine or the average size portrayed in advertising? I’m not against plus-size models or super thin ones, this is not about this. What I am against is the complete gap between the two that somehow makes it bad to be perfectly average. But guess what? I still buy clothes. I still want to look good. I’m so glad that the current movement is body positive, by why stop there? Why not include someone in the middle? What is the is apprehension to show what is average? Why can’t you put in someone that I can identify with and most likely buy MORE items from because I can see how it would fit my body.
Dress: Large (Exact) / Shoes: (Similar) / Earrings: (Similar)
It’s not truly inclusive if you stick one plus-sized model in and call it good and body positive. Don’t tell me to be body positive and then refuse to show my body type.
I’m tired of body positive campaigns that are purely just to take my money. I get it, it’s trendy to be body positive, but no one takes it a step farther. If you are actually body positive you wouldn’t just present two different sides of the spectrum like there is no middle. Also, it completely plays into the female marketing thing of add some pink + glitter and you can charge $15 more and no one will notice.
I don’t try a ton of trends anymore. Why? Take this summer. Everything is thin straps and sheer off the shoulder. Guess what? My D-cup boobs aren’t about to support themselves. I have to wear a thick bra and no, I cannot do off the shoulder tops. Plus all the stupid special hangers you have to use to hang those tops are annoying! I feel like because I don’t have a lot of visuals for someone with my body type I am much more cautious about how I wear tends and thus, I am more choosy.
Dress: Large (Exact) / Shoes: (Similar) / Earrings: (Similar)
Listen, people with chests have money too. We like to spend it and all we ask ask is that you consider maybe making something for the average bra size. Or like, stop showing everything with a super thin bralette like somehow when I take a step my chest isn’t going to fall out of the barely there fabric? I need a wire or else.
I know what my body looks like and am acutely aware of what does NOT work. As a result, I’m focusing on my business wardrobe. I’m picking much less trendy items and classic staples are now my jam. Are they boring? Yeah, they are. But do they work and fit my curves like a glove? Yes. But do I get effing tired of going with classic items just because they don’t look like trash on me? YES!
Dress: Large (Exact) / Shoes: (Similar) / Earrings: (Similar)
I don’t actually look at outfit ideas anymore. It’s not because I don’t need the inspiration but it’s because I’m so tired of looking at an outfit on someone else with a completely different body type and then going through horrible self-talk when it doesn’t work. DUH Alissa! It’s not going to look the same your curves vs a very straight and narrow body! And that’s fine for it to look great on someone else! But it’s unrealistic for me to simply go down a bad mental route just because I was setting myself up.
In some ways, because of this realization of the path I want to go down for myself and my mental health, my style to me has gotten boring and I don’t want to blog as much clothing. And by boring, I mean it’s more sleek and fitted. Not loose, off-the-shoulder and boxy. But I’ve also never felt better about my style and direction I am going in.
This is a shameless plug, but my great friend Nicole has the most amazing guide to finding your style that you need to buy. It’s super affordable and makes you be honest with yourself. I’m actually wearing the dress in today’s post because of it! She is a constant icon for me when it comes to finding your style tips!
Finding your style is an ever-evolving thing but it becomes easier when you listen to yourself. No one else can tell you what truly feels YOU. Be true to that voice. And check out a tailor. You won’t regret it.
Rachelle
oh yea the current trends are so annoying, everything is off the shoulder or has huge ruffles. You look stunning in that red dress, just stunning!
xo
Pinksole
Jocelyn
I totally know what you’re saying about the outfit ideas! I am of a similar size and the size 2 girls’ outfits just never lay the same on me.
Holly
Girl, YES. This summer’s styles have been the WORST.
Lyddiegal
It is so sad that even the world of the personal style blog, diversity among body types is still so narrow. I scroll through my feed and most of what I see fits into the box of tall and slender with minimal chests and hips. Every so often when I come across another blogger who has roughly my body type I immediately follow them, because you are right, it’s so disappointing when your inspiration folder is full of stuff that just wont translate over curves. So please don’t say you don’t to share as many outfits and further diminish an under represented body type! As far as companies who are actually promoting real body positivity, the only one that actually comes to mind is Aerie, but even their sizing offerings has limitations. And don’t get me started on bras and the amount of daily hate I cast towards my breasts. Squarely on the bandwagon of “strapless things aren’t for me” I decided to throw caution to the wind this summer and bought a new strapless bra that I don’t loathe and started feeling like if I want to wear the damn off the shoulder trend, then I will.
(PS is there anyway you can change the font size in your comment boxy? it’s itty-bitty and I refuse to do anything about the fact that my eyes suck. Thanks.)
Chic on the Cheap
Laura
First of all, you look stunning! That dress was made for you! And I know what you mean about looking for inspiration only to find that it doesn’t work on your body at all. Whenever I look for inspiration it is with color combination or using things in my closet to make it work for MY body. You make great points!
Esther
Everbody should respect every size or style.
Most important is that you embrace yourself. Darling, you look stunning.
I love how you present this red dress. Have a fantastic week.
Love, Esther
https://lifestyle-tale.com/calla-flower-power-business-look
Nina
Lovely dress, so feminine and classy! You look stunning !
Have a great start to your week !
Nina
xox
http://www.thecrispylipstick.com
Maria
I agree about the trends: I’m so tired about this off-shoulder tops and dresses, they do not fit me at all, I really can’t wait when this trend is out. Because now it is easier to buy an off-shoulder top than a usual one and that irritates….
Anyway, you look absolutely stylish, charming and beautiful! This red dress fits you perfectly!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings!!
My Fashion BLOG by Maria
Amy Arnold
This post makes a lot of sense and I appreciate you for sharing it. I think you dress your body really well and I know people look to YOU for inspiration on how to dress.
Amy Ann
Straight A Style
Whitney
Yes yes yes!!! This post is everything. I’m a size 14 and I was so sick and tired of seeing all of these size OO girls show me their picks for the Nordstrom sale. I think that’s one of the most frustrating things about being a blogger who isn’t a thin stick-like model type. I’m ready to see some trends that fit my body type and not those without a chest or tummy. You look fabulous!
M
That’s one of the reasons I like your blog. I’m a curvy size 8 and I love seeing what someone with a body more like mine wears. I love the tall & skinny aesthetic, but I am neither and sometimes I just want to know what the clothes might look like on ME, breast & butt & all. 😀
Anna
That dress looks amazing on you! Hope you keep sharing clothing and style posts.
I’m also quite sick of the current trends – all off the shoulder/cold shoulder and flimsy. I haven’t bought nearly as many clothes this year since there just isn’t as much that interests me + that will actually look good on me.
Closet Fashionista
Love this! And it’s so true! Companies think if they show both sides of the spectrum they’re doing good. But they have to show the full rainbow!
You always look amazing though, so sleek and professional is totally your niche!
Lisa Wilson
I think we tend to look to advertising to see what is in style and purchase those items so we fit in. Really I like the idea of purchasing classic pieces. That way they last a long time and we are not buying in to the latest trend. I do think it is hard to find nice afford work clothes. But I find when I add accessories to classic pieces it makes them look better. It is fun to play with style. You look great and I understand about the advertising issue with reference to your size. It is very sad that more models aren’t shown in all sizes but once again they are trying to entice us to buy.
Dana
Love you for writing this post about how you really feel! I loved hearing your thoughts on this subject and I can totally relate. Whenever I’m browsing online, I always find pieces that I think are so freaking adorable…and then I get nervous that a style won’t fit over my hips. It’s definitely discouraging, but most of the time, I say “eff that”, and wear what I want. Once I overcame the fear of not looking good, I started really taking note of styles that did look good on my body. And honestly, as much as I love certain trends, most of them are nonsense. Classic is the way to go!
ALSO, we can definitely still talk about how amazing you look in this dress, right?!
Pink Champagne Problems
Valerie
Girl, you are such an inspiration! I love that your wrote this and YOU look amazing!
lauren
I have so many comments for this post! I used to work in fashion and I chased trends all the time, blowing money on looks that didn’t even flatter me. so yes, sign me up for the classic look. I also have a very large chest and I actively try to downplay that… some looks just don’t work and that’s okay. I also used to manage a plus-size fashion department and that was a trip, it was my favorite category of women’s apparel that I ever worked in 🙂 getting ready for the day is just so much harder for women than it is for men…
alyson
Really, really valued your post today. You’re right. One “plus size” model does not qualify a brand to be body positive and inclusive.
In related news, excited to check out your friend’s site and LOVE this dress on you — such a good find!!
alyson
http://www.themodernsavvy.com
Shira Rosenbluth
Girl, I’m pretty much the same size and dd/ddd. I’m sooooo over the backless tops and dresses that are meant to be worn without a bra. OH HELL NO! I did find a good strapless bra for bigger boobs but let’s be real, doesn’t feel amazing at the end of the day. I’m also a little annoyed by the body positive movement for different reasons but I seriously agree that we need more representation!
http://asequinloveaffair.com
Nicole
This dress looks great on you! I have it also . Great minds think alike. I think you have to go with whatever you feel confident in as confidence is the best accessory. And I wouldn’t call sleek and fitted boring. I would call it classic. You are such a talented writer that you could write about anything and make it fun to read. I’m glad you’ve found you style!
Nicole
Nicole to the Nines
Rach
You look amazing in this dress!! Girl, go with what you feel comfortable wearing and what you feel confident on wearing. It is not about the trends. I have learned a long time ago that certain trends are not for everyone and that is okay. There is always something out there for someone.
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
Vivian Tse
I absolutely love this post and I can totally relate to what you have said! We should embrace our body, feel comfortable and confident in what we are wearing! I love this red dress on you, you look beautiful! xo, Vivian
http://www.viviantse.net
Auna Caffey
You look absolutely stunning in that red lace dress! Its always important to embrace you body at any size and you look amazing!
xx Auna | http://simplyauna.com
Caitlin
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I’m was nodding along to everything you said as I read this post! That dress looks amazing on you! I think you should do more outfit posts not fewer because you fill a niche that isn’t currently being filled! 🙂
Beautygirl24
Really good Alissa! As someone who is a size 8, I don’t feel represented at all either! In fact, I’ve talked about this topic a lot with my friends. I’ve been feeling really insecure lately and part of the reason is because I can’t fit into a lot of clothes I try on. I hope one day that advertisers get their crap together and realize they are leaving out a lot of women.
Caitlin
As other people said, that’s part of the reason I follow you – more size representation! Also, modcloth definitely has its problems, but the user communities are really active and so you have people of all sizes posting pictures of them in their purchased clothes, and I always found that really helpful.
Kristina
Do you watch Project Runway? A new season just started, and the models this season are of every size! It’s really awesome to see, and to see the designers designing for all of these different body types. I always struggle too as a size 12/14, it’s really discouraging to walk into a store and see that you can’t wear 95% of the items. But, you know, classic isn’t all bad – at least you aren’t going to look crazy in pictures 10 years from now!
Kristina does the Internets
Emily
Red is your color! Love this post.
Isn’t That Charming.