Do you ever feel like you can’t win? This year, I randomly decided to drastically reduce my soda consumption, out of nowhere. I trained myself to like carbonated water and managed to eliminate soda out of most of my days. I thought I was making an incredibly healthy decision for myself. Carbonated water is great for me right? I’m drinking water! Then I started getting bombarded with think pieces about, “Well you know…… Carbonated water ACTUALLY…. blah, blah.”
Suddenly I was doomed for drinking soda daily and I was doomed for drinking what I thought was a healthy replacement. On one hand, this is such a tiny example but this is what makes life so heavy. Yet I’m still happy evening though I sometimes feel guilty for it.
This is not easy to write about. For instance, I’ve tried to write this blog post many times as I feel it’s only gotten worse in the last two years. Things have been heavy. Our natural instinct is to want to stomp out someone else’s joy. I’m guilty of it. But it is so freaking hard to be alive right now. There is not a single thing that cannot have a think piece written about to ruin it and make you feel guilt. I get it. We don’t have a ton of hope right now. I am a very hopeful person and even I feel like my light is often dimmed.
I was texting with Kelsey at Bungalow26 in Wichita and we talked about this. As a blogger (the small person in that world I am), I don’t come out strongly on a lot of things. I’m a Midwest white woman, trying to respect every culture, person and something that means something to someone. Honestly, I don’t want to deal with the emotional work that takes have hot takes on this blog. This is my safe space for you and I. I am, what I think, incredibly raw and vulnerable. I don’t talk about your top five wardrobe essentials.
Instead I talk about losing your job, weight gain, ending your engagement and wedding, starting over, shooting your shot, etc. I write that because that is the content I wish I could find for myself. Because it is so hard to not feel incredibly alone in this world that feels like everyone has 100K followers on IG and is thriving. No one is talking about their massive debt. (Or that they probably bought those followers in one way or another.)
Listen, are there very problematic things and people we need to talk about? Absolutely. However, maybe like don’t actively try to ruin someone I enjoy just because you don’t like something about them. If they’ve done something wrong, I do want to know. I get it. It’s hard to balance information and the decision of what to do with that.
I don’t know, maybe we don’t actually need as many think pieces and maybe we just need pieces on how people are enjoying their life and see what we can learn from them. Maybe?
Can I ask you a favor? Can you just let maybe someone in your life have something that makes them happy? Sure, if it’s problematic or morally wrong, say that. Instead, can you let someone enjoy their Diet Coke without sending think pieces? Or try to find out more about what the situation is. Maybe this is their first Diet Coke in weeks and have been working really hard to improve their health?
Right now it is hard just to exist, for a myriad of reasons. What if maybe we could all start being the thing that gives other people life? Imagine how our relationships could be stronger if we weren’t sending each other reasons an innocuous thing bothers a stranger we will never meet but not a moral or legal wrong. That feels like a fantasy world to me.
P.S. I wrote this while I sipped a Vanilla Coke Zero (see my love for it here). It was the first one I’ve had in quarantine and tasted like heaven. Also, if someone ruins Shania Twain line dancing for me EVERYONE IS CANCELLED.
beautygirl24
I hate the whole “wellllll ackually” type of back and forth that goes on especially Twitter. Which is why I deleted Twitter off my phone and have no plans on returning to it in the future. It’s so easy to get caught up in arguments with strangers who have so many strong opinions on everything. I try to blog about a variety of things, but I often find myself pulling back because I don’t want to offend anyone. That can be really hard and paralyzing too, when you’re trying to constantly please everyone. Hey, people have vices! We are imperfect humans. Have a dang coke, have that flavored water! In the great scheme of things, I think most people are just trying to do their best to cope and get through all this.
Lydia
Wait – what is bad about carbonated water?? I’ve never heard that it’s bad, just sugar, especially in fruit juice. I think you are safe as long as there are no sweeteners, artificial or otherwise.
But yes. It’s hard to be a human. And I always appreciate that you share your humanness instead of trying to gloss over it, we all need to remember that we are flawed, imperfect versions of what we try to portray.
Chic on the Cheap