There are a million better, more eloquent posts about feminism, the importance of it, its meaning, etc. I actually have written this post three times because I felt like I could never say what I wanted to say. I got caught up in the idea that maybe a stranger reading this wouldn’t understand my intention. So I re-wrote. Then did it again. Now however, I feel like I just HAVE to publish something, even if it’s not exactly the words I want to say, but I need to share what is on my mind. I often find myself not publishing content because it’s not *just right.*
Let’s get right to what I want to say, here’s my definition of feminism: My definition of feminism understands that not everyone, including women, understands how much feminism is needed and that in no way detracts from my beliefs and values. I can be friends with other people who don’t understand or want to be part of a feminist movement and I can still exist alongside of them. That does not mean that I agree with them, but I do not have to feel as if someone that if someone I know doesn’t believe the same way that I do, that I need to go after them and their beliefs. We are allowed to both exist and that does not take away from me.
Top: Exact (Size 8)/ Skirt: Exact (size 8 in J. Crew)/ Bag: (exact)/ Shoes: (similar) / Ring: (exact)
Feminism also means to me that I can and WILL celebrate another women’s success. I had the WORST time understanding how to celebrate another woman’s success over me until I had this painfully obvious moment. “You know that someone else can receive praise and that doesn’t mean that you are failing, right?” Everything clicked after that. I began to want to see other women achieve success so I could cheer them on. I wanted to have someone else be rewarded for their work. Not because I felt obligated, but because I genuinely, freaking love seeing someone be rewarded and celebrated for doing something they love. But I would somehow take that personally that I wasn’t doing enough.
Guess what? Get over your own ego, this has nothing to do with you. This is a moment that you let go of your ego and you smile and you want true happiness for someone else. Absolute true happiness. And you understand that their happiness is in no way a slight or offense to you.
Top: Exact (Size 8)/ Skirt: Exact (size 8 in J. Crew)/ Bag: (exact)/ Shoes: (similar) / Ring: (exact)
Top: Exact (Size 8)/ Skirt: Exact (size 8 in J. Crew)/ Bag: (exact)/ Shoes: (similar) / Ring: (exact)
I genuinely used to see everyone as competition but now I don’t. I used to see other bloggers and be happy about and for them, but still be wondering how I could be like them. My focus should have been celebrating what made them, them and me, well, me. My thought process was all wrong. I hadn’t found my definition of feminism at that point and it was truly the moment that I did, that I started having better relationships with bloggers, better interactions with co-workers, etc. I never realized the pressure I was putting on every single interaction when I was basically not allowing us both to exist. The big aha moment was when I realized I was treating everyone as competition instead of seeing them for what they were bringing to the table.
And the thing about my feminism is that I understand that not everyone is going to feel that way and that’s okay. Someone else feeling slightly different about being a strong, powerful female doesn’t mean that I am anything less. Although sometimes everything is just freaking trying you because sweet baby Jesus it is infuriating that in 2017 I still have to talk about sexism, feminism and the need for it. It is 2017. Let’s just let it sink in that the issues women were facing in the 50’s haven’t evolved. But I digress.
Top: Exact (Size 8)/ Skirt: Exact (size 8 in J. Crew)/ Bag: (exact)/ Shoes: (similar) / Ring: (exact)
One of my favorite things to see is how feminism has been shown across social media. I am so proud of some many wonderful ladies who are out there getting it up and supporting their gang, friends and complete strangers! It is the absolute best feeling to meet someone on social media, invest time in them, create lasting friendships and celebrate their success! I truly feel terrible for someone who doesn’t understand that sense of community for championing other women. I love that whether or not they are talking about their definition of feminism, I can see it through their support of so many people, often many whom they don’t agree with!
Another favorite thing? Seeing so many other lovely ladies on social media be loud and proud about what their definition of feminism is, even without them saying it. Nicole, Valerie, Priya and so many others are just a few of the examples of ladies who support each other on social media, in their personal lives and through blogging. I love, love, love seeing their genuine excitement to share other women’s posts, speak out about issues and genuinely go after their dreams.
Although 2016 and 2017 have been trying for so many people, one of my favorite things has been the genuine community I’ve seen on social media of ladies supporting ladies. A lot of things might be utter trash right now, but I am so proud of being a young woman in 2017 and getting to be part of this
Whether or not my definition of feminism is yours, I hope you know that I support you and I want you to succeed in everything you do in life. And that if we disagree, it’s okay and we can both exist and be proud of being strong females.
P.S. Yes, I know I need to get this shirt!
Priya Pappu
Girl! Thank you for my shout-out! And thank you for writing this post! I have definitely been in the exact same spot, where I don’t want to post something because I feel like it’s not good enough, but eventually, I feel like it’s better to post whatever thoughts you have than nothing at all.
This post (and sentiment) really resonates with me. I wasn’t *raised* to be feminist, or with any of those classic values instilled in me (on the contrary, which you can probably relate to, I was raised in the church where women are expected to submit to men.) It is such a great point that in this day & age of women supporting and rallying around each other, we also need to be respectful of where we’re all at. As long as it’s actually feminism (and not, you know, a detriment to women) everyone has their own feminist doctrine. This is really something I’ve learned and grown into over the past few years. Thanks for sharing- you rock gf!
♥ perfectly Priya
Closet Fashionista
So true!! It’s about all of us lifting each other up and celebrating successes. Not everyone will agree with what you (or I) say, and that’s okay. People are allowed their opinions, just as long as they don’t tear others down with their beliefs. Can’t stand that.
And in other news, love this color combo! That skirt is such a great color
http://www.closet-fashionista.com/
Karly
Preach, girlfriend! I admit that I’m still working to adjust my view toward other women to celebrate their accomplishments rather than view them as competition, but you are SO right. Nothing will ever change if we as women don’t support one another. We need to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders!
Kate @ Green Fashionista
Beautiful post! I wasn’t raised feminist either, but I believe it’s super important to be supportive of each other and to feel empowered on a daily basis. And can we talk about how much I’m loving this look? Especially the ruffles <3
Green Fashionista
Lyddiegal
Not seeing other people’s success as your failures is important. And it’s hard. There is enough room at the top without having to tear someone else down to get there. At least that is what I choose to believe.
http://www.iamchiconthecheap.com/
Kirsten
Thanks for sharing 🙂 I’m not a feminist, I think we should be evaluated on all equal levels independent of gender and I don’t think my gender means I have to do something different, although it means I may not naturally be as good at some things due to genetics. Men have naturally more muscle, for example, that’s how they were built genetically. I believe women can do things like math and science, though just as well, but that doesn’t mean they should get preference in getting accepted into a college or something (for example).
-Kirsten // http://www.porkandcookies.com
Rachel
I love your definition of feminism – it’s such an important viewpoint to have and totally rocks one’s world! I mean, viewing other (more successful) women not as competition but achievers? It’s a daily thing, but so powerful. I love to hear people define what feminism means to them – the word is thrown around so much that you can never assume what someone means when they use it! A woman in Aghanistan might mean the right to have an education when she uses it…one American woman might use it to hate on men, you mean this post…it’s so necessary to see it defined. Constructive feminism can be beautiful. Let’s keep building as a team of strong girls. <3
Nikki
Such a great post! And so well said! I think everyone (especially in the blogging world) gets so caught up in what everyone else is doing and the competition. I have never considered myself a “feminist” but I think everyone deserves equal rights, equal pay, equal chances. And sadly, that view seems to be more classified as being a feminist ( sadly because I think everyone should feel this way!)
Nikki
thefashionablewife.com
Nikki
Such a great post! I think it is so important to support each other, especially when people are so focused on tearing each other down. I don’t consider myself a “feminist”, but I think everyone deserves equal rights, equal pay, equal chances… Sadly, that view seems to be categorized as being “feminist” (sadly because I wish everyone felt that way). I don’t think I should get special privileges because I am a woman (although someone holding a door for me is nice), but I don’t think I should be considered less because I am a woman.
Nikki
thefashionablewife.com
Laura
I love that you kind of speak to the fact that there is enough success for everyone! We don’t need to be jealous of someone else’s success, just remind we can succeed too. And that it’s completely ok to agree to disagree. Respecting other people’s opinion is important!
Jacqueline
Very well said! I agree with you! I think a lot of people do not understand what feminism means. Emma Watson is really trying to change people’s perspectives about it!
Love that sweater! The ruffles are so fun!
xo,
Jacqueline
Stylin In St. Louis
Shauna
You are such a beautiful writer. In fact, I read some parts twice!! 🙂
Shauna
http://www.lipglossandlace.net
Amy Arnold
Loving that pink ruffle top!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on feminism. I agree that so much of it has to do with celebrating each other and seeing each other’s successes as just that rather than competition.
Amy Ann
Straight A Style
Shannon
I love this! And you’re looking drop dead gorgeous per usual! Love that ruffle top!
<3 Shannon
Upbeat Soles
Valerie
This is such a beautifully written post! I really appreciate everything you said! Also I’m loving your outfit…the ruffle top is super cute!
http://roadesque.com
http://ourruins.com
Nicole
This is so true! I love seeing other women succeed. I used to struggle with it, but then I realized I was only projecting my own insecurities. Once I realized that and overcame, everything changed. There are so many women out there kicking butt and they deserve to celebrated.
Nicole
Nicole to the Nines
head to toe chic
yes, I love everything about this! Women should definitely support other women 🙂
and I love your top!
xo,
Angela
Beautygirl24
I really love this and am so happy to find someone who also feels the way I do. I too once saw everyone, especially other bloggers, as competition. How sad is that? I get upset when I see other women on social media who pretend to be all for encouraging other women and then I come to find out how fake they are being (I have one person in mind who I obviously won’t name). But mostly, I see women supporting other women and it’s amazing. If we can genuinely do that for each other, there isn’t anything that can stop us!
Deal Man Unhappy Customers
Love the outfit! amazing look and hairstyle.
https://dealmanreviews.wordpress.com
elle sees
I am seeking that community of females on blogging! Instead, I get those who don’t read my blog posts to get me to comment on theirs. It sucks!! How can I foster that?
Caitlin
Very well put! I love that “collaboration over competition” is having a moment! Your aha moment is spot on: once you realize that someone else’s success doesn’t take away from your own, it’s easy to celebrate each other’s achievements. I think when we cheer each other on and lift each other up, we all rise! I love all the smart, strong women I’ve met through the blogging community in the short time I’ve been a part of it. (I also really love your shirt! 😉 )