Have you noticed that I’ve talked about confidence a little more than usual lately? Truthfully, it’s been because I had a weird summer, well, 2017, relationship with confidence. It’s funny, I actually started noticing a distinct difference in confidence levels at work and personally. It started last year when I was very self-aware of my ahem, new curves that I suddenly felt like I could rock. Personally I struggled with the weirdness of having a very different body, yet completely loving it and owning who I am. Professionally, I felt like I was starting to hit my stride and was comfortable with where I was for the most part. But then we had an integration and my role changed and well, I was pushed and I wasn’t super comfortable with it because it was change.
Jumper: C/O ModCloth (wearing a large)/ Top: Exact (wearing a medium)/ Lipstick: Exact/ Bag: This year’s version/Shoes: Similar, Similar and may have to buy!
Fast forward a little bit and once again, life got weird. I felt a little lost earlier this year. Honestly it started with my 26th birthday because I was terrified that nothing could top what a great year 25 was. I felt like I needed to find who I was again but I wasn’t sure how to even start that. Plus, how freaking often does one have to find who they are? WILL THERE BE ANY AGE THAT YOU’RE LIKE YEP THIS IS ME, I’M DONE! I digress, you get the idea.
My job has always been great, but this weird self-doubt decided to set-in. Even little things that I knew how to do I doubted myself. And what happened? Things didn’t go as well as they could have and I got more mad that a) I didn’t go with my gut and b) I was letting doubt win. It’s a terrible self-fulfilling prophecy cycle. What’s worse is that this was all internalized stuff. I wasn’t being told I wasn’t doing a good job. I doubted myself which then made me mad I did that, then if something went wrong, I got extra hard with myself. Again and again. I should have stopped and doubt my doubt, not myself.
Jumper: C/O ModCloth (wearing a large)/ Top: Exact (wearing a medium)/ Lipstick: Exact/ Bag: This year’s version/Shoes: Similar, Similar and may have to buy!
But I hadn’t read the quote “doubt your doubt, not yourself” which of course, totally hit me like a ton of bricks. The timing was perfect as I was in the middle of a classic beat-down cycle with myself. I read it and it caused me to pause and think, “Why do I instantly assume I am not enough, doing enough or am doing it wrong?” Nothing was indicating anything WAS wrong but I was still plagued with doubt that was completely self-imposed. We are always the hardest on ourselves and focus on things that no one even notices!
Jumper: C/O ModCloth (wearing a large)/ Top: Exact (wearing a medium)/ Lipstick: Exact/ Bag: This year’s version/Shoes: Similar, Similar and may have to buy!
It’s not an overnight fix, but thanks to my therapist, I’ve been able to put that oh so important little step between feeling doubt and blaming myself. The moment that I start feeling doubt, I question where it’s coming from. Is it coming from something someone is saying? Is it based on past experience? Are you feeling more sensitive to any feedback lately? Most importantly, is this something you are telling yourself? Am I doubting my doubt or am I listening to it?
Since asking myself these questions, I’ve noticed some things. I’ve noticed I’ve gained confidence, true confidence (couple with the tips I shared here) and handled things differently. I might have some doubt, but I’m much more in tune with WHY I am doubtful. It’s always something I will work on, but I’m finally able to say I’m doubting my doubt more than myself.
Rachelle
Love this saying doubt your doubt, not yourself. You look gorgeous lady.
xo
Pinksole
Whitney Damrau
This is such a great post and so inspirational. We all doubt ourselves for different reasons, but this is a great reminder that we shouldn’t. Love your cute polka dot top!
Xoxo,
Whitney & Blaire
Peaches In A Pod
Rachel Heffington
As I’m about to do the whole career-switch shebang as if I’m playing the game of LIFE for realz this time, this post is timely. Also, this outfit is the best thing I’ve seen all week.
Aly
I really needed to read this. Thank you so much for sharing.
Shira
I love that quote. I struggle a lot with self doubt and my own insecurity so this was a great reminder. And girl, that green on you-oh em gee!
http://asequinloveaffair.com
Courtney Hardy
This was very inspirational. That’s a nice phrase.
http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/
Karly
This couldn’t have come at a better time. That quote is EVERYTHJNF. I doubt myself almost all day everyday, but I think I need to figure out why and exactly what it is that I’m doubting. I’m glad you were able to recognize these things in yourself to start taking steps to correct it. You go, girl!
Laura
You look absolutely fabulous! I am in love with that amazing jumper and killer heels!
Shannon
This is so good and it make’s me so happy that your happy! Also you look stunning as usual! Obsessed with this jumper!
<3 Shannon
Upbeat Soles
alyson
LOVE that quote and it’s so awesome you were able to find this and work toward remedying. I also see a therapist and it’s amazing and so necessary. So happy for you and your talented self! 🙂
alyson
http://www.themodernsavvy.com
Nikki
I am constantly doubting myself, no matter what. It is just the way I am. And as far as the finding who you are – I think that is a constant process because we are always changing. Love this post, friend!
Nikki
thefashionablewife.com
Nicole
I love that quote and it is so true. It can be hard to break out of a spiral of doubt. I’ve learned to question where it comes from as well and then I try to remember a time when I did said task well to give myself a little bit of confidence. It is so interesting how doubt can strike at any time and totally impact your performance. I’m glad you finding ways to kill doubt!
Nicole
Nicole to the Nines
Jacqueline
I feel the same way about myself sometimes. I have no idea why I doubt myself, but it can be hard to just trust yourself.
Jessica
Self doubt is so tough to deal with. I’ve been struggling with it lately. Doubt your doubt is a great phrase. I’ve never heard it before.
http://tresfly.blogspot.com/
Angelie
I have to agree! It’s inevitable to doubt yourself but when you notice that your thoughts are wandering off to the negative side, make a conscious decision to stop and start thinking about the positive thoughts! 🙂
Angelie // What Men Like in Women’s Clothes