Let’s take a timeout, shall we? Great! You know how some people are just having those amazing days, weeks, years and everything seems to just be falling into place? You know those people who aren’t having such amazing days, weeks, years and nothing is falling into place? Their success is not your failure. We are trained to immediately ask, “Why not ME?” when someone else is at the top of their game and receiving recognition and we are just plugging along, hoping someone notices your work.
I’m going to need you to remember this. Ready? Someone else’s success does not mean you have failed or reflect on you. Read that again. Someone else’s job promotion, new car, home, clothing, campaign success, anything does not reflect your successes. Sometimes it is just as simple as it is not your time. I’ve had to learn this so many times, so many times that you’d think I would have figured this out a lot sooner.
I wish that I would have realized a lot sooner in life that there is nothing about someone else’s success means that I have failed. I didn’t get a blogger campaign? I probably wasn’t the right fit. Someone else did? They probably were a great fit, even if I didn’t think so. I didn’t receive a promotion? Bigger things are ahead. They did get the promotion? Great! It’s their time and it will be your time soon. In every life instance that we are given there is a chance to see the great and then takeaway.
I can’t tell you how many times I have wanted something, sulked that I didn’t get it, made biting comments about them (in my head and yes, unfortunately in real life) and then realized that I wasn’t ready for that, something better was headed my way (even if it took years) and that I should be celebrating that it is someone else’s time. I wasn’t able to think long-term that maybe, must maybe, this other person has been working just as hard and is ready but I’m not.
You can be happy for someone else’s successes and not have it be your failure. You can acknowledge that you wish it were you that was enjoying that success, but realize that because someone else is being recognized, does not mean that you have failed.
Her success, his success, anyone’s success is not your failure. I wish I could say that I’ve always been the Oprah of celebrating success, (YOU GET SUCCESS! YOU GET SUCCESS! AND YOU GET SUCCESS!) but I haven’t been.
I’ve been working really hard to realize that I CAN be excited for someone and it does NOT deflect or take away from my work. So celebrate other people. Be happy for them. Your success is AWESOME! And you know what? I bet you will be just as happy for me when I’m having success as I am for you right now when you are successful. I can almost guarantee it.
And a great way to celebrate success? Linking up!
Fizz & Frosting
Linkup Rules:
- Follow your host Fizz and Frosting (via Bloglovin’ or Instagram) and your co-hosts, Alissa of The Adored Life (via Bloglovin’ or Instagram)
- Share a post, showing how you remixed an item – a top, skirt, jeans, purse, shoes — it’s completely up to you! Want to share a collage? Go for it!
- Link back to this post with a text link or by sharing the linkup button!
- I’d love for you to tweet using #MixItMon so I can help promote your posts!
Want to co-host in the future? Please email Lauren at lauren@fizzandfrosting.com and use the subject MIX IT MONDAYS!
B Ramida
you look so pretty dear!
http://www.bstylevoyage.blogspot.com
Rachelle Pinksole
you look gorgeous and we all have pretty good things happening to us. We just need to focus on our stuff instead of others. we are all blesses 😉
xo
PinkSole
Tara | The Mix
You are adorable, love your stripes and that red skirt. And this is so true…don't worry about what others are doing, be happy for them, and just do you!
Rebecca
You're always the picture of happiness & Spring beauty Alissa! Come check out my latest collab with Express and let me know what you think – Happy Monday!
Rebecca
http://www.redtagchiclosangeles.com
Amy Johnson
Such a gorgeous outfit and photos! Thanks for co-hosting!
BLovedBoston
Red skirt and stripes – super cute girl! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
molly wetta
Love that twirly red skirt and that Dior lip color!
And YES. I have to remind myself daily that someone else's success is not at all about me! I've been better at not voicing petty things lately – now I just need to work on banishing the thoughts all together.
Karly @ Miss in the Midwest
Totally agree with you on the overall message of this post – life gets a lot easier once you celebrate the joys in everybody's successes, not just wallowing in your own supposed failures. Great outfit, too!
Victoria Fox
How gorgeous do you look??? I am obsessed with that skirt on you! So fun! Love this post! So meaningful and wonderful!
xoxo,Victoria
http://www.coffeeandablonde.blogspot.com
Alyson Seligman
Ah, you're gorgeous inside and out. I totally agree with you — while you might wish you could be celebrating the success, there's something so beautiful about other women cheering each other on.
alyson
http://www.theaveragegirlsguide.com
Closet Fashionista
I know what you mean, it's still hard for me to not get a little let down when everyone around me seems to be doing better than I am. But then I remember that I'm doing better than a lot of other people.
And ugh, those shoes again! I WANT THEM!
http://www.closet-fashionista.com/
Abril Ponce
Thanks for your motivTional works , this is just what everyone need to start the Monday
X,Abril
The color palette
Kylie Mavrakis
This is an amazing post. You seriously have such an amazing way of laying things out in words! Plus, you look absolutely gorgeous!
xo Kylie
http://www.dressinsparkles.com
Lauren {Fizz and Frosting}
Thank you so much for co-hosting today! And I really love the message of your post too. It can be so easy to get caught up in the comparison game and forget to celebrate the success of others.
Fizz and Frosting
Garaytreasures
I needed this pep talk or post. I am slowly learning to just be content with where I am at. I also know that success is such a broad term and everyone has successes from the little things to the big. It is a success when I can walk several times a week for excercise when weeks ago I was a couch potato to success being that collaboration that was coveted all year. I love that we can't give up but we just hold on to what is ahead and yes while we may not get what we want right then and there something better is ahead. Lovely outfit, I almost bought that same top on clearance a few weeks ago but figured spring and warm weather was here and couldn't justify getting it. But these days the days are cooler and perfect for long sleeve, so I wish I had. Thanks for co-hosting lovely lady!
Rachel xo
http://garaytreasures.com
Amanda Elizabeth - Meet @ the Barre
That is seriously such a good reminder. We are always so quick to immediately turn everything back onto ourselves when we should just acknowledge that everyone is in a different stage and path in life and we can't compare. Also, that skirt looks fab on you. It's totally your color!
Rachel Dinh
First off, you look gorgeous! Secondly, what a great post with a wonderful reminder.
http://www.racheldinh.com
Whitney Damrau
Such a great post and even better positive attitude. We say don't judge your beginning to someone else's middle. If you work hard your time will come. Loving your red skirt it looks perfect with stripes.
Xoxo,
Whitney & Blaire
Peaches In A Pod
Marg B
Amen! You hit the nail right on the head. I absolutely agree with you 100% and I always relate to the person that maybe struggled a bit before getting to their goals. You are lovely both inside and out.
Darcy
Well said!! It is hard to not feel bad when someone else succeeds and you stand still, but it does not mean it's never going to happen for you!
http://www.amemoryofus.com
Shea Sayers
First I have to say these photos are GORGEOUS!! You look radiant. This is so, so true too and something I have to remind myself constantly. I feel like you'd think it would just be easy to be glad for people, but it's easier to turn it around on yourself and make it about your own shortcomings. It's something I keep trying to get better at.
Shea | http://www.shealennon.com
Kimi, Cotton Cashmere Cat Hair
Thank you for this reminder! I've felt this way for months but I'm getting better at not blaming myself (though I use it as motivation to try and improve). You're such a beauty in that red skirt! <3
Daniel Poon
Definitely love the outfits! I love your smile:D
Daniel x
The Daniel Originals | Instagram: danielpoonvignez
New Post: REVIEW: New sunglasses
Ashton
A really great read to start my day! Plus, you look stunning in these images. I was really thinking about getting those pair of heels, after seeing how great they look on you, I might have to!!
Ashton | Instagram
Shannon Jenkins
You just always know how to say it! Loved this post and how hott are you?! Obsessed with this red skirt!!
<3 Shannon
Upbeat Soles
Lorena
Very thought provoking and insightful. I agree with you and it's a great way of seeing it: my time's not arrived 🙂
Lovely look.
Joanna
You look fantastic! And that red skirt suits you so much! 🙂
Kathrine Eldridge
Love this red, black, and white combo! You look stunning! Those shoes are amazing too.
http://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Luci Petlack
This look is amazing. Love the stripes and red together. And you're oh so right about seeing other people's successes as unrelated to your own success/failings. It's a hard lesson to remember, but oh so true. We never know what's in store for us. We have to let life unfold!
Luci’s Morsels | fashion. food. frivolity.
Laura Bambrick
This is such a great, inspirational post and it really touches on something that is difficult for so many people. I know I've gotten better with this, but still struggle at times. Thanks for the reminder!
Rachel Lynne
This is something I also wish I would have learned sooner in life. I'd say it really took me until I turned 27 to let go, be fully happy for others (without being jealous of their success), and to fully celebrate and appreciate my own successes! Don't worry, it will get easier as you grow older. 🙂 And I completely believe in karma – so the more I've been truly happy for others, the more positive that has come into my life 🙂 Keep up the great attitude!
And that skirt – I'm dying! It is beautiful!
Shira
I struggle with this like every single day of my life. So reading this was one hell of a fantastic reminder- thank you! PS outfit is adorable!
http://asequinloveaffair.com
Nicole Layne
This is so true and a great (and hard) lesson to learn! I think we always forget what we don't see (maybe the other person worked extra hard or did something we didn't do). I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and it will happen when the time is right. I wish I had learned this sooner!
Your skirt is so cute, by the way!
Nicole
Nicole to the Nines
Sara Strauss {Sincerely, Sara}
So so so true! I never understood people that felt that if someone else got something that it had been taken from them specifically. everyone is entitled to succeed! Love the skirt by the way!
~Sara
Rachel Heffington
Oh my word, Alissa! This is so, so incredibly timely for me! My best friend is the most amazing creature on the planet and absolutely SLAYING in her career these days, and sometimes it's hard not…well, not to be JEALOUS, per say, but not to discount where I am in my life because of comparing where she is in her life. So anyway, thanks for this. This outfit is KILLER as well. <33333
Carylee
What an inspiring post, girl. Thanks for the wise words and reminders! And your smile is so contagious!
Carylee | http://morepiecesofme.com
Jenn
Stripes and the color red is one of my favorite combos (behind stripes and the color navy) 🙂
a small bit | bloglovin | twitter | latest post
Stylin' In St. Louis
Totally agree!
Love your outfit! That skirt and striped top are perfect!
xo,
Jacqueline
Stylin In St. Louis
Kate at Green Fashionista
Such a fabulous post and so true! Loving your beautiful skirt too <3
Green Fashionista
Head to Toe Chic
Yes to all of this!! I definitely agree. and I'm loving this skirt 🙂
xo,
Angela
Jackie
First of all, you look gorgeous (as always). Second, I really needed to read this today. After a weekend spent comparing myself to relatively complete strangers and feeling badly about myself…I needed a reminder to stop doing that! <3
Jackie
Something About That
Alice Warren
I love this post!!! I think we are living in a society where we are always comparing ourselves to others and not celebrate and support each other.
Thank you for hosting and hope you are having a fab week!
Alice
http://www.happinessatmidlife.com
Hope to see you Thursday for TBT Fashion link up.
Beautygirl 24
This is so true! But equally difficult to adhere to because it's easier to be jealous than it is to be genuinely happy for the person that got something you wanted. It's something I really work on. It's easy for me to compare myself to others, especially in blogging. But really it's my own fault for not being as serious about it as I would like to admit. I think if you really want something badly enough, eventually persistence will pay off! Patience and hard work is key 🙂
And you look beautiful btw! Love the red skirt!
Elle Sees
not sure if you saw it, but i did a 4 part series on sponsored posts, and i found SO much doubt amongst most of the bloggers. the jealousy, the anger, the disappointment that happens when we don't get what we think we deserve. we just have to think, "good for her" and know our time is coming.
jess
I'm so happy for my friends when something great happens to them. But sometimes it's hard to cheer them on when I feel kind of stuck.
I love the stripes paired with that skirt.
awhite
So, so true- but it IS a really tough lesson to learn (and re-learn).
Love you in stripes + red; this skirt is such a flirty piece!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
Anna Baun
Great post! I struggle with this all the time – whether's its in my personal life, blog related or at the office. I dedicate a few minutes every morning to repeating a positive affirmation. I'll be working this one into my routine. Thanks for the inspiration, pretty lady! XO
Anna || A Lily Love Affair
Rachel Emma
Yes yes a thousand times yes to this message. I think we all (especially women) have felt these feelings at one time or another. Back then these thoughts are what even made me think I should just quit blogging because what's the point? I'm never gonna be as successful as *her*. I definitely see things differently now, and I think we women have it hard enough in life as it is already that we shouldn't be pitted against one another. I try to just be grateful for my own little successes instead of sulking over others' 🙂
Btw, that second shot of you is *inserts all the 100 emojis*
Doused In Pink
Well said! We need to celebrate the little things and know that our time will come! Love your skirt and your fun clutch!
Jill
Doused In Pink
Sevi {Ware is the Vodka?!?}
My friend Valery sent this my way and it was exactly what I needed to remind myself that I'm doing alright. No need to measure or compare myself to others when in the end, I'm happy with what I'm putting out in the universe.
Oh and I'm a sucker for stripes, so you're after my heart!
Dressed2dNines Blog
You are so speaking the truth right now! I've had to learn this lesson time and time again but we tend to get real down on ourselves when something we've been working or praying so hard for doesn't immediately come our way. As you said, it simply isn't our time. Always good to hear it again! You look great by the way, love your heels!
http://www.dressed2dnines.com
LyddieGal
Yes, you could not be more right! It's so hard to not compare or feel like you've failed somehow when someone else is doing well. I especially enjoyed "The Oprah of Success" that's a good line.
Love you in this fabulous red skirt. It's a stunner.
Chic on the Cheap
Sandra ks
Great quote and absolutely truue, we tend to feel bad when we compare our selves to others, but that it totally unnecessary.
You look stunning in this look by the way! Love the pop of red in it!
x Sandra
http://www.morestylethanfashion.com
Parker the Prepster
I have this red skirt and LOVED the way you styled it. So pretty!
xo, Sarah Parker
http://www.parkertheprepster.com
Bree Aylwin
I agree wishing well for each other is how it should be andp focusing on our own successes. You look adorable as always!
CoastWithMe
Alissa every time I visit your blog, I feel like I leave with a little more compassion and love towards myself (and others). I think we can all be really hard on ourselves. And it's so easy to compare and get caught up in other people's successes, achievements, and milestones. Especially when things aren't really working out on our end. But, what you said made so much sense. Maybe it just wasn't our time or not meant for us. One day it will be our time and everything will work out. In the meantime, we should be happy for others…and hope that they will be happy for us too. Thank you Alissa! So much love to you girl! And you nailed this Parisian glam look! 🙂
Fashionista Momma
This look is super cute! I love the pattern mixing with stripes and polka dots. LOVE! xo ~ Megan The Fashionista Momma
Ramona
I couldn't agree with you more. Sometimes it's very hard to not take things personal, but the older I get the better I get about this.
Lady, you look fabulous. Such a pretty classic look. Red and stripes is such a great pairing.
xoxo
Ramona
http://ramona-strikeapose.blogspot.ie
Meagan's Moda
I really needed to read this and am so glad I found your post. This is a huge struggle for me, as I know it is for many other people. Thanks for the inspiration–I'm keeping this mantra in the back of my mind (seriously!)
http://www.meagansmoda.com
Courtney Lang
I LOVE your outfit!! Your skirt is gorgeous and you're really giving off a Parisian vibe in these photos!
http://thecourtneydiaries.com
Paulina
I love everything in this post! What you said is so true but we tend to forget about these simple truths. Thank you for a reminder!
Paulina
@shenaniganska
shenanigan-ska.blogspot.com
ourthreesons
Love this post, and what a good reminder, I never thought of it in those terms, but you are right. Too often I view others accomplishments etc. as how they reflect on me, when it has nothing to do with me at all!
Kristina
Your skirt is adorable girl!!
Kristina does the Internets
Pat
I will admit, openly, here for others to read, that I have a gf that I often compare myself to. In everyway possible. She has been very successful in her life, her marriage, her career, her home, her children, now her grands. She is beautiful, smart, and mostly kind. We have not always seen eye to eye and as I have grown up (we've known each other for almost 30 yrs) I've come to realize that some people are charmed. Others are not.There a lot of inbetweens, and thats what makes the world go round. Have I beat myself up in thinking she was better in every way than I? Yes! Have I gone out with her, had a great day & come home to my house feeling ugly? YES! Does she have a better house? Yes! Is it cleaner? Yes. You get the drift. Why do we, women especially, compare ourselves to other women. Why can't we just be nice to each other? As I stood in line at one of the great thrift stores in our area the other day, I LOVE to thrift, a women I had seen and talked to in the store came up behind me. Now this woman was everything I was not in looks. Thin, dressed beautifully, gorgeous, YOUNG! etc. And she was the sweetest lady. As we got closer to the front of the line we continued talking and I felt so pleased that I had met a woman in a thrift store of all places, who was showing the world that 2 completely different people in different times of their life, she was about 35 & I'm around 60, can be super nice too. There was no need to compare my wedding band that I have proudly worn for almost 45 years to hers even though she had on 2 rings that had bling that almost blinded me! I had just picked up my rings that morning from our local jewelers to have them resized. I hadn't worn them in over a week and I was so happy to have them on again. Life isn't about who has the most money, or the best job, the biggest house, the most friends. We don't all get what we want out of life. Not all our dreams are going to come true. I think at about 50 I began to realize this. For the longest time it made me sooo depressed. But when you look at the world as a whole and you see all the other countries where people live in shacks made of cardboard and I'm feeling sorry for myself? I have a super comfortable bed, a very loving and caring husband. A house that's all ours and a big back yard with 2 beautiful children who come visit us in it. How could I have wanted more? Maybe that's human nature. But please, I beg of all you beautiful young people, appreciate what you have. You may not ever go as far in your career as you want, but aren't most of you able to climb out of bed after a relatively good nights sleep on clean sheets, have a good breakfast and head off to work without thinking too much about your morning ? Are you able to go to Starbucks on the way? I'm not usually so serious in my comments but I've had such a stressful couple of weeks with someone so dear to me coming to the end of her life. An aunt who is like a mom to me. She had it all, the career, a business, a great husband, several beautiful houses and cars and 2 great children. She was and is amazing. And now she is laying in a single bed, in one room waiting to die. That is what her life has come to. She has a few clothes in the closet, one pair of shoes, no car. In the end, that is where so many of us will be. Please let us not get greedy. Please see what is most important in this life. And please, be happy. Because now I have to do just that!! So I will say "Hey sweet Alissa, I love your outfit, your smile, your beautiful hair. I love your personality, I love the joy you bring to others in your honest and wonderful blogging. Please have a great day my dear. And realize what you are doing right now is good enough."
Simply Alexandra // My Favorite Things
This is absolutely adorable! I just found your link through Molly's Librarian Style page. Hello from a fellow Kansan and KU grad! I currently live in L-town. 🙂 I love this whole look, and I adore your curls! Curly girls unite! I love your message here. Especially in the age of social media and blogging… it's so hard not to compare… and not to wish you had what others have. I read a great article… a while back… that just said basically, you never know what the rest of that person's life looks like. Sure they might have XYZ, but they might be lacking in something you have a lot of. It's so so incredibly true. I love a creative entrepreneurial group I am in. They celebrate community over competition. Which is how I try to view this kind of stuff too. Hoping that others will feel the same way for me when I have successes.. 🙂 So glad to have found your blog! XO – Alexandra
Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things
Elegance and Mommyhood
What a beautiful, thoughtful and thought-provoking post. I thought about this and have to agree with every word you said. You put it beautifully that another person's success is not our failure or vice versa. I love the photos in that gazebo with that second photo with the Merilyn-esque poese being my favorite. Red, classic breton stripes, a midi skirt and pretty pumps – what's not to love!?
I am so glad I caught up with you a little today. I will stop by again over the weekend pretty Alissa. =) Continue to be successful, doll!